lainex

Title: Reasons
Author: Lain
Pairing: Yamazaki Susumu/Ichimura Tetsunosuke
Fandom: Peacemaker Kurogane/Shinsengumi Imon Peacemaker
Theme: #4 Our distance and that person (though I think it can apply to #24 and #26 to some extent too…Maa ne)
Disclaimer: PMK/SIP does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. And I am very sorry if it doesn’t read too well; I don’t write much.

There was a certain smile on his face that he doesn't usually show to others, when he is with Saya-san, and it almost makes you jealous that he lets out such a warm, wistful expression in front of her and not you, but you can never bring yourself to hate the girl – she was, after all, living in a world away from the Shinsengumi and their bloodied hands.

She was pure, innocent despite her impending future, and you cannot hate her for it because it was because of this innocence that Tetsunosuke held her so dear. He could not bear to lose himself in the bloodshed, no matter what he said he was ready to become – “Make me a demon” – and you know that you would not be able to bear seeing him so, either. You were as dependent on him to keep you sane, through death and violence, as he was on Saya-san.

That is why you let him go, when what you want to do is pull him over and keep him by your side.

That is why, when he sits with you back-to-back on the roof, stargazing, you mutter something about the summer night being too warm for the puppy to be as close as he was, but do not move away.

That is why you reach for his hand with your own, as you had once done when your aneue was killed, and hold onto it, as if you were afraid he would drift further and further away from you.

And that is why you feel an indescribable sense of peace when he returns your grip with his.

(note: aneue, if I am not mistaken, is what Susumu called Ayu-nee in episode 19. It is another form of oneesan, which means 'older sister')